Wednesday, August 25, 2010
I’m not a very experienced girl. I have work and family responsibilities that I recognize as being more important at this point and time than my having a few hours of enjoyment as Lindsay. Of course it goes without saying that I would love to be out experiencing life on a regular basis as Lindsay, and I am anxiously looking forward to the day I will go full time, even though it will alter my responsibility to my family. But, at the moment I must bide my time. I get to be Lindsay about once a month when I go to see my therapist and my doctor, usually on the same day so I don’t have to take off work too often. Other than therapy and doctor days, I get out about three or four times a year when my best friend Suzi and I go to
for a whole weekend. Because my time as Lindsay is so limited right now, I savor every moment I can be my true self. Dallas
My typical trip to the therapist and doctor usually go something like this. My wife doesn’t like me to dress around her, or even in
East Texas where we live, because she is so fearful that someone we know will recognize me. So, getting dressed at home on the day of my appointments, and then driving to as Lindsay is out of the question. The best solution I’ve come up with is to drive over on the night before, get a decent meal I don’t usually have access to in Dallas East Texas, and check into a motel. I do some prep such as shaving the legs, and putting on some fake nails then try to get a good nights sleep. I try to get up six or seven hours before I need to be at my appointments. Let’s face it, it takes time to be as beautiful as I. Stifle that chuckle. It does take some time for me to get ready, because I haven’t had that much experience with makeup, but probably more because I’m just not a morning person. Trowel and shovel in hand and before the day is over, I’m ready to go. LOL One bad cup of coffee in the room requires a stop someplace for a real cup of coffee, or to be more precise, a large sugar with a side of coffee. That usually is enough to get me where I need to go. I like to schedule the doctor visit first since my doctor is in Coppell, about as far northwest as you can go and still be considered in the area. Dallas
My doctor is great, and she has helped me in so many ways, but I will write about her in a future blog. Everyone at her office is so friendly. They do the usual weight, blood pressure bit, and then Dr. Ridley and I sit down and talk about a little bit of everything. She takes her time and a session with her usually takes between 45 minutes to an hour. And, that time doesn’t include the time in the waiting room, or getting vitals checked. That is from the time I actually sit down with her to talk, until I walk up front to check out.
Doctor visit out of the way, it’s time to remind my stomach that we are still friends. I eat a light lunch, as in not too filling. I’ll save my appetite for dinner and splurge a little. Arby’s, Chick-Fil-A, Sonic. All are promising for the short term. With my stomach now having signed the temporary Peace Treaty, it’s time to head for therapy. Feleshia is such a sweet lady. Her office is set up more like a living room than an office, with two couches, a soft chair and a coffee table. We each usually take up the same spot on different couches, with Feleshia kicking off her shoes and tucking her legs under her as she sits clutching a big soft pillow, and me trying my best to be the prim and proper lady. Sometimes, though, Feleshia rubs off on me and I’ll have to kick off my heels as well. I usually pour my heart out to her and she provides insight and guidance. Most of our sessions are pretty upbeat since I have been fortunate enough to have almost NO bad experiences. I have been known to do my share of crying when we talk about my family. And Feleshia is so sweet, she doesn’t even make me bring my own tissues. I know we have a patient/therapist relationship. But, there is so much more to our interaction than that. She is truly like another sister to me. I consider her one of my friends and I hope she feels the same about me.
With doctor and therapy out of the way, it’s usually time for some more therapy, …, RETAIL therapy. Over the years I’ve spent so much money on things that aren’t right for me or were just cheap products. The old adage ‘you get what you pay for’ is true. With my RLT or full time looming in the near future, I’m no longer buying things just for me enjoy wearing around the house only for me. For the last six to eight months I’ve been trying to build my wardrobe to start the rest of my life. I definitely shop more and buy less than I used to. While I am trying to pay for doctors and therapy and trying to save for surgeries, I have to be more selective in what I buy to make sure it is something that can follow me into a new life. It really is therapy. If I’m feeling a little down, a little shopping time can pick me right up. I love the hunt, and finding that one great piece is also on sale is fantastic. I feel the urge for a shopping day coming on.
Before going back to the motel to change and go home I always take the time to treat myself to a nice dinner. I have my favorite haunts like Chili’s, Olive Garden, Cheddar’s, and Outback. Perhaps next trip I'll have a good steak and a glass of wine, or a nice pasta and a margarita. I feel very blessed that in all my outings, whether it’s shopping, dinning out, or going to the movies, I have always been treated with respect, and dignity, as all people should be.