A Texas Butterfly

A Texas Butterfly

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Coming out to my sisters

For many years I had wanted to tell my youngest sister about Lindsay. She and I have always had a bond. Because of one thing or another it just never seemed to be the right time. In the summer of 2009 our mother was very sick, and the 'kids' took turns taking care of her, with the brunt of the work falling on Leslie, my youngest sister. Mom ended up passing that summer and we were left with the tasks of selling the house and dividing property, ect. When we were dividing property the girls in the family had spread Mom's jewelry out on the dinning room table and they took turns choosing pieces they each wanted. I so much wanted to join in and pick a few pieces for myself. It was agonizing to sit in the kitchen watching them, fighting back the tears, and wanting to yell, 'damn it, it's my turn'. I finally went up behind my wife and whispered into her ear, 'please get me something for me'. I was astounded when we got home and found out that Diane had gotten me several things, mostly necklaces and bracelets, but they were Mom's, and now, they were mine. I was very pleased.

A few weeks later I took a U-Haul down to pick up the big things that Diane and I wanted. She had stayed home. My youngest brother and his wife were there to help me load things, and oh, so smoothly talked me into taking things I didn't want for the sake of getting the things out of the house. And they were slick. Of course, Leslie was there, too. After completely stuffing my truck and a U-Haul, my brother and his wife went home leaving Leslie and I alone in the house drinking a glass of wine together. I guess my siblings were more astute than I realized. Leslie asked me what was wrong, saying she had sensed there was something eating at me for some time. I tried to avoid the subject saying it wasn't the right time. Wiser than her years she explained that life is always complicated with something going on all the time, so if my reasoning for not telling was 'it's not the right time', it never would be the right time.

So, sitting in the house that had been our mother's which was then partially gutted, I broke down and told Leslie my story of growing up a Transexual. I had always thought that if any of the siblings would be understanding, it would be Leslie, because of the bond that we had always shared. She didn't let me down. She hugged me and told me that she loved me and promised whatever I needed in my journey, she would be there for me 100%. Then to show her support she said, 'have you checked out Mom's closet to see if there's any of her clothes you can wear?' So, I got an assortment of shells, pant suits, and blouses that had been my mother's. Pretty cool.

Leslie was curious and asked questions which I answered. She wanted to know if I had told anybody else in the family, which I had not. She asked if she could tell my other sister and I gave her permission to do so. After telling Leslie I was going to tell Lin anyway, but I let Leslie do that for me. After I got home, I got the sweetest e-mail from Lin telling me that she loved me, and would support me in whatever I needed to do. I had been pretty sure that my sisters would understand and support me. I wasn't as sure how my brothers would react. But, both Lin and Leslie promised me that when it was time to tell my brothers, if I wanted to do it in person, Lin and Leslie would be on each side of me for support. I am truly blessed with a wonderful family.

1 comment:

Suzi said...

Amen sister. It's good to see you sharing more of your journey with others here, too. Every time we open up, someone who reads it finds something that helps them in some way. Keep it up. :)Suzi